Great Schism
"The Great Schism" is an unexpected event that happened when The Prophet of Truth caught an Elite jacking off. Truth said "Ewww thats nastayyz." (in a very brucelike voice) and set a new rule in the Covenant, "Article 844 Section 9 - No Jacking Off". In result of this, the Elites got pissed off and starting "fighting the power man" and jacking off everywhere in High Charity. Which resulted in the Arbiturd getting "SPARTAAAA!'d" by Tartar Sauce off a cliff so he could be Teh AIDS Lourrd's personal man whore as a punishment for his crimes, good riddance. Soon the elites thought the great journey was a bunch of BS. But the Elites didn't just sit there and let the Brutes and Testy Chins execute them, they fought the power and started a civil war in The Death Star What the Fudge happened in this war? Well since you asked, the Xenomorphs decided to be badass mofo's and make a faction known as the Covenant Separatists while the Wookiees decided to stay with the covies and make a super ghey name like the "Covenant Loyalists", seriously they could have just stuck with "Covenant". The Xeno's were at a major disadvantage because the only allies they had were a few Grunts and Hunters, the Hunters were a big help but complete idiots because theyre just a bunch of mindless Rockeaters put together, so yeah it was like trying to teach a special ed kid algebra. But all this changed when the gravemind released the arbiturd from his raep sessions. The Arbiturd, was REAALLY pissed off after being raped by the gravemind 94858329848934 times by having the gravemind shove his tentacles up the arbiter's anus against his will. "I'MMA KEEL DAT MOPHO!!!!!!!!11!" said the Arbiter, then he charged at Tartar Sauce, and somehow transformed into the Hulk while he was charging. The Arbiter in his hulk form then said, "ME SMASH PUNY TARTAR SAUCE!!!!!!!!" then epicly (and literally) beat the shit out of Tartarus, which resulted in his death. To this day you can still see the poo stains of Tartarus's beating in the Control room of Installation 05. Sangheili-Human Alliance One day Xzibit wanted to fuck with Halo's programming, so he teleported inside Halo and told Master Chief "Yo dawg, I heard u liek allies, so I put Allies with your Allies so you can have backup while you have backup, dawg." then teleported back to the real world. Which actually helped out alot. It actually resulted in the death of Teh Super Powerful Testy Chin. The Death of Truth Well, he was pwned by the Arbiturd. But this time the Arbiter forgot about his raping, so he wasnt pissed, he was totally chill about it. He said, "Asshole, you must be silenced!" then shoved a Spooky Fork up Truth's anushole which killed him. But then after Truth's death, the Gravemind came back. The Gravemind said, "Time to be raped again, honey bunches! Muahahahahahaha!!!". The Arbiter saw the tentacles, his eyes turned a different color from him being pissed. He said, "I will not be shamed, not again, NOT BY YOU!!!" then turned into the Hulk once again. This time, in addition to his hulk transformation, he cloned himself which made 4 Hulks. They all jumped down from the Arks control room to find the Graveminds head. Once they found his head, they all punched right through it, and crushed his brain. The Gravemind finally died, and they all pissed on his body like never before. End of the Great Racism It hasn't ended you dumbass... Trivia *948481329074890278942198479878562594378024 Grunts died in this war, but they would've died anyway. *This swagga died in the Great Schism *This WILL happen in 541 years, so be prepared to be homeboys with ugly badass homicidal gun wielding four fingered aliens. *The Brutes were also at a disadvantage, because the only races that had all of their members stay with the Covies were dumbasses. *Flipyap was the only grunt that survived in this great war, because he is awesome. *2Pac came back from the dead during this war and whooped a brute's ass. Category:Shit people complain about Category:Elites Category:Articles that should have been made a long time before 2010